Wow, What a Trip

I guess if I am not totally insane by now, I've beaten the odds. I honestly think the California credentialing system is designed to drive a soul to the brink of madness. That being said, I've made it. It was like trying to maneuver the labyrinth with the Minotaur fast on your heels, but I made it to the other side. I've heard BTSA can be comparable, but somehow I doubt it. The mere mention of a MA caused my mother to despairingly plead, "Why don't you give yourself a break!" Maybe I should, just for now. I guess the real grueling part at this point will be getting a job. Everyone is so optimistic, "Oh someone will snap you up in a second." I'm not seeing the market open wide to embrace me. Well enough of that.
I am still with my twelfth graders they just finished their major research project. My teacher told me I was very lucky, and that my class is the most academically gifted of his three. I agree. I have learned that teaching is very hard work and requires a lot of commitment. I knew that on a surface level, now I know it to my bones. I only have to grade papers for one class. It took me about two hours to grade five papers. Maybe with some experience, that will rectify itself. We are on the brink now and some of my students won't be graduating. That is my most difficult reality at this point. It is so stressful. People think it is so rich to be able to use all their wonderful content knowledge with senior students. But it isn't about you, it's about the student, and it's more complex than, "Gee I get to teach all of this great stuff I know." They are young, and possibly not that interested in what you know, they want to graduate. I have seen seventeen and eighteen year old males cry because their grade is not what they expect, because they are frustrated and overwhelmed. Eighth graders were so much easier, they don't believe there is that much on the line for them. But with seniors it is all about getting through and moving on. I've been told I was blessed to be able to work with seniors. On a personal level I have enjoyed all of them. On a professional level it is probably the most stressful, anguished, frustrating thing I have ever done. Rewarding? Yes, but at a price.
On to less heavy things. I recently acquired Kurosawa's Dreams. I was exhausted when I watched it, but it is fascinating. I want to watch it again soon with a clear mind. There is a portion of the film about Van Gogh that was so amazing.
From the music scene, my husband just bought some old Johnny Cash. Now I am everything but a country music fan, but I love Johnny, and have since I was a child, through my teens, and into adulthood. So I never argue about Cash. Well I'm off, (really off), looking forward to the long weekend, see all y'all later.